I am one of those crazy Black Friday (well now it's starting on Thursday, but that's another issue) shoppers. I have been doing it since I was a child. My mom used to let me go with her. We had some of the best times. The last several years My Love has went with me. We make an event out of it. Usually his mom watches our kids and we shop til we drop (most times literally)! This year, though, he had to work and couldn't go with me. It wasn't his fault (well maybe a little since I
Well I don't know if it was lack of sleep or that I knew he would be working 12 hours that day, but I said, "I am a big girl and don't need you to tell me when to go to sleep!" I mean who does he think he is!
Then I got this, "Well since you are a big girl and can make your own decisions, if you fall asleep on me tonight and can't spend time with me you will be spanked."
"What that's not fair! It's not my fault that I can't sleep!" I mean come on! Really? It's not like I wanted to be awake after only having 2 1/2 hours of sleep.
Well I'm sure you can guess what happened. He went up to shower and I fell asleep on the couch. I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore and I had tried. He woke me up and wasn't too happy with me. Oops! We went to bed, but apparently he was too tired for punishment so it got put off.
The next morning I woke up in a mood. You know the kind I'm talking about. The just stay out of my way and don't irritate me kind of mood. Well My Love had "plans" for the morning that I was not exactly up for. However, since our sex life is an area that he has been given control, he got his way.
We were up and heading off to the grocery store. I felt the need, while waiting at the door, to remind him how much quicker I could do this ALONE! Now while it is true that I can be in and out of the grocery much faster if I am alone, now was probably not the best time to mention it! (I know! I know! But like I said, I was in a mood!)
Later, after we got back home, we were installing our new TV (the kids were away for the night). I got an attitude. He gave the look and I barked "Well I'm already in trouble so what the F**K do I care!" He let it go. I can't believe he let it go. I still can't believe he let it go. He never should have let that go.
The waiting...the suspense... the dark cloud...it was just to much and I snapped. I don't know what it is about a looming punishment that makes me crazy. We finished setting up the TV and at about 11pm I announced that I was going to bed. I just wanted to get this over with!
We climb into bed and just lay there. Nothing is said, we just lay there. I can feel my heart beating so fast that I think it's trying to pound it's way out. Finally I break the silence. I tell him I can't take this. That the stress of waiting is killing me. I come to the realization that my mood is a result of the delayed punishment. He apologizes for putting it off. He says that my outburst earlier let him know that he had waited to long and that he was not going to punish me now. WHAT! All of this stress and now NOTHING?! I don't understand. I am angry. I am relieved. I really don't know what I am, but calm and peaceful and restored is not it.
So now even in the light of day, I still don't have anymore clarity about it than I did last night. I don't enjoy being spanked for punishment at all, but I also don't like not knowing what to expect. I don't enjoy stressing and then having no resolution. I think I would have rather taken the punishment :(