|When everyone sticks to the schedule, you get a happy P|
I awoke this morning having certain "needs". I had dreamed all night about spankings and sex and was needing John's attention. He is always so willing to indulge me in my frequent desires...lucky me!
After we had spent some quality time together, I got up to shower and begin the circus act that is Sunday morning. John also got up and tended to the animals. John and I have different ways of prioritizing...well the truth is that he used to ALWAYS be late. Since beginning TTWD he is usually ready when we need to leave, but I'm having a hard time remembering that he isn't the same guy anymore. Sometimes I still feel the need to "instruct" him on what he should be doing. He was not thrilled with my "instructions" I was just trying to help! I apologized for, in his words, "trying to take over". Unfortunately it wasn't long until I was back to "instructing". John was less than impressed.
I abruptly turned to him while we were both in the bathroom getting ready and asked him to consider preemptive Sunday morning spankings. He didn't say anything. We were back in our room getting dressed when I asked John what he thought. He said, "Okay". I began unraveling. Okay??? I'm not really sure what that means. He doesn't really care. This isn't important to him. He's already tired of dealing with me and my roller coaster emotions. That's a lot of pressure on that little word.
Okay just sounds so dismissive, like you don't even care.
That's not what I said.
You didn't say anything.
What do you want? A list of 10 things we will begin immediately...
No. I just want you to care.
I do care!
You're right...it's just me.
Well that phrase ranks up there with "I'm fine!" Apparently neither are acceptable answers anymore. I often hear things negatively. I think the worst and devalue myself...it has gotten me into some trouble and John has assured me that he will be vigilant in changing this mindset. After a bit more discussion, he announced that we had time and with that I was bent over the bed...dressed in dress pants and black wedges, hair and makeup done.