And the bottom falls out...Last weekend we were cruising along in ttwd. He was stepping up and calling me out on things that were affecting us and I was submitting to his decisions and respecting his perspective. Then this weekend...nothing.
We were on our way to the grocery store and I was ready to go. He decided that he was hungry and going to get a yogurt. I got frustrated that he wasn't ready and had been sitting on the laptop instead of getting ready. When we got in the van I proceeded to tell him how irritated I was. When I stopped I asked if he was now not speaking to me. He said when I was finished yelling at him, he would talk to me. So I stopped and he said nothing. Nothing was said all the way to the store and nothing was really said at the store or on the way home either.
So that's how it went all day...Not much talking other than when completely necessary...Not fun! So at the prodding of the lovely Wilma, I went to try to talk to him again...It was a very long conversation. John has mild forms of epilepsy and fibromyalgia. When he gets stressed they flare up and so last night it was very difficult to have a conversation.
Truth be told I couldn't even really remember why we weren't talking. So I said as much to him. He informed me that I had an attitude all day and wasn't being very kind to him...He was right. I HATE admitting that! He said that he felt like we had went back to pre-ttwd. For whatever reason, he didn't deal with it and it had just escalated.
He decided that a punishment was in order for my attitude. Again THAT word! It's gonna be the end of me! Unfortunately, because he had let himself get so stressed over it all, he was not physically able to follow through last night. So now we have a punishment hanging overhead :( I am trying to not let it affect my ATTITUDE as I don't want to be in more trouble.
I must admit, I get a frustrated with him because he knows what will happen if he doesn't deal with things fairly quickly. He knows how it affects him physically. On the other hand I feel extremely guilty that my behavior caused all the stress that led to his pain :( Hopefully as we continue he will become more consistent which will limit the amount of pain he has to endure...
So to sum it all up...IT'S ALL WILMA'S FAULT! She insisted I talk to him and had I just went to bed it would've been too late (as he has to let me know by the end of the night if there is anything I am in trouble for...his rule) Now I'm awaiting a spanking! Thanks Wilma! Just kidding...thanks for the "ear" and your friendship.