Sunday, February 17, 2013

HOH Emerging

I knelt in front of him as he lay on the couch and laid my head on his chest.  He wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my back. 


It was nice...until it wasn't.  It was as if the earth began to shake and crack under us...well under me. 

 

The distance hit hard.  He hadn't said anything or done anything, but it was there.  I got up and sat down on my end of the couch and began to play with my phone.  He talked about the show that was on television and I snapped.  "I really don't care right now!"  He said nothing for a while.  Then he asked what was going on with me.  I said nothing.  Then I fell asleep.


He woke me to get ready for bed and and when we had settled in he asked if I was just tired or if something else was going on.  He said I seemed distant.  I told him that I felt distant, but really didn't know why.  Then I broke one of our MAJOR rules.  I rolled over and went to sleep. 


I awoke this morning and text him, which is our normal.  He tried again to reach me.  I blocked him at every turn.  I couldn't understand what was going on myself.  I had no idea what to tell him.  I wasn't intentionally shutting down, I was just confused.

I talked with a friend who helped me figure out what was going on.  Well, a lot is going on.  John is still not feeling that great so things are a bit...slow.  We had a great week last week.  He was issuing tasks to keep me in my sub state of mind, but that has slowed as well.  His illness is taking its toll on us both.  To the best of my recollection it has been about 6 weeks since my last spanking.


John said that we would deal with my breach of our rules once he got home and would make sure I was back to my soft and peaceful self.

What does that mean?

It means I will make sure you are back in your sub frame of mind.

How do you plan to do that?

You'll see.

We went back and forth via text for a bit.  And finally he said

I'll take you there, if you'll let me.

I don't really feel like an adventure right now...

Fine.  Then go get the clamps and put them on.

Are you serious?

Yes.

For how long?

Til I say.

Oh man!  What WAS I thinking when I bought those?  So off I went to attach the lovely clamps...OW!  They hurt like hell!

Now, I want you to think about why we do TTWD.

So I did.  Why do we do it?  We do it to make US better, to strengthen the bond and intimacy between us.  We continued to text back and forth and finally he said

There's my good girl...you've been hiding from me.  

And with that, I melted :)


18 comments:

  1. we all have been there, glad your man know how to pull you back.
    hugs abby

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    1. I do need that anchor from time to time...okay, every day! lol

      Hugs

      P

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  2. I know the feeling. I'm glad you are in a better place and John was able to get you there.

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  3. Yep...we all go there from time to time. I find myself feeling that distance...and have no idea why or how to get out. I am so glad that he was able to find a way....that is huge :)

    Hugs....

    ~Lucy

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    1. It was really frustrating Lucy! To have no basis for the distance and have to figure out what was happening

      Hugs

      P

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  4. Happy it all worked out. He knew just what to do didn't he?

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  5. It gets very frustrating when a couple cannot connect. I am glad that you two were able to reach out to each other, by leading and following. Crabby wife is usually a sign of a neglected woman.....here anyways.
    hugs
    lillie

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    1. Funny how that works isn't it Lillie...and sometimes life just gets in the way and makes connecting difficult, but we have to push and make time and find ways...

      Hugs

      P

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  6. Wow P, It may have been quite a while since any spanking but John is certainly fining other ways to keep the dynamic going. We have all been there and I'm glad John was able to find a way to bring your back to your submissive self.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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  7. It is really hard when they can't spank and John sure does come up with the good ideas.

    Soon...soon he'll be feeling better! Until then...lol, hang in there.

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    1. Thanks Susie! And he is turning out to be a creative one! lol

      Hugs

      P

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  8. Awww, I love being called his good girl. Your guy is creative and he's paying attention. Be careful what you wish for lol.

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    1. Oh me too Stormy! 'Good girl' just melts my heart :)

      P

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  9. We all get knocked off balance once in awhile Hugs

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    1. Yes we do and I'm glad he was able to pull me back to himself.

      Hugs back at ya

      P

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