Sometimes I start to feel like TTWD just isn't fair. (I know, I know, but let me have my pity party for a minute!) I mean I'm the one who is doing all the changing! I can no longer think for myself (this really isn't the case, but is part of the party I'm having). I now need his permission for or advice on EVERYTHING! (every party needs drama, right?) I get spanked for
So I've come to the conclusion that TTWD REALLY ISN'T FAIR!!
Don't start throwing stones just yet! I'm not done.
Over the last week we have been discussing a voluntary change in our lives. This decision will impact every area of our lives, some for the better, some for the worse. It will affect our financial situation pretty drastically and our family interactions as well. While I have weighed in on the decision, ultimately John will make the final decision. This will be the first major decision that he will make as HOH. In the past this is a decision that we would have discussed, but I would have done whatever I thought was best. Now, post TTWD, I no longer carry the stress of this decision. It really is a relief. I trust his judgement completely. I know that he only wants what is best for our family and whatever he decides I will be ok with. It's such a new feeling for me...to trust him completely. I know that he is fully engaged in our family. (Not that he wasn't before, but I never allowed him to express it)
But from his perspective I know the feelings he must be experiencing. He is responsible for us. He is responsible for making the decision that will so completely affect us all. He carries us on his shoulders. If the wrong decision is made it will have serious consequences. Either decision could be potentially detrimental to our life. That's a lot for a person to weigh out.
THAT IS NOT FAIR!
I was always taught that a marriage should be 50/50. What I have learned is that is doesn't work for us. In our marriage each person must give 100% to the role that they are in. I don't know that those roles are divided equally. John is responsible for everything including my personal development, our marriage, and our family dynamic. My contribution seems minuscule in comparison.
IT DEFINITELY IS NOT FAIR! But I'll take that trade any day :D