Triggers

Why is it that sometimes it's the little things that set you off?  I have a bit of a temper and more often that I'd like to admit I let it get the better of me.  I also have a flare for the dramatic.  No, I don't throw things or hit, but I can make a mountain out of a mole hill.  As I've mentioned I've always had a "my way or the highway" mindset.  As such, I tend to like things done the way I want them done and in the time frame that I want them done in and when that doesn't happen I get upset.  It's always worked for me, or so I thought.  We have 4 children and getting things done has always been my business.  Getting everyone up and ready for school, getting everyone's lunches, homework, etc...you get the point...  I never tolerated lolly gagging in our children or my husband.  Now I find myself in an impossible situation.  My husband manages to get himself up for work everyday of the week.  He is on time everyday.  But on Sunday when it's time to get up and get ready for church he lolly gags.  It takes him forever to even get out of bed.  Once he's finally up he moves to the couch.  Eventually he goes to the kitchen for breakfast.  Anyway my point is it takes FOREVER and it drives me CRAZY!  I have 4 kids and I don't need another.  I tried talking about how frustrated I was and his response was "I'll take care of it".  What exactly does that mean?  We've been married for 13 yrs and it's always been a fight, so forgive me when I'd like a little more reassurance.  I know that's not the point of this lifestyle.  I know that I've got to let him do things on his own, but old habits die hard!  My fears are not illegitimate though.  What if he doesn't "take care of it"?  What if we're late every Sunday for the rest of our lives?  I know that being late isn't the end of the world.  I know there are worse things to be.  But it is one of those little things that just eats at me.  I can tell myself that I'm not going to care that it's not going to bother me over and over again, reciting it to myself.  Then all of a sudden IT BOTHERS ME!  My insides are screaming and most of the time so are my outsides.  How do I keep our family moving smoothly without being disrespectful to My Love?  Because unfortunately that's exactly what ends up happening...I become disrespectful and start treating him like one of the children.  He doesn't really know what to do in that moment and I am in no way inclined to cut him any slack.  Now that it's over I do feel bad.  I know that he's trying and we're both in unfamiliar territory.  He's afraid of my reaction so he behaves passive aggressively instead of just dealing with it straight on.  I know what will have to happen and I'm really not looking forward to it.