tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post5069233957196091711..comments2023-03-27T07:19:56.029-07:00Comments on My Love's beautiful lady: Problem is...he didn't tell meUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-73325596946932529012013-01-22T13:26:52.987-08:002013-01-22T13:26:52.987-08:00We have talked Susie. And yes remembering to ask i...We have talked Susie. And yes remembering to ask is definitely on my list of things to work on (my list seems to keep getting longer and longer!) We have talked and are doing much better. We have talked about ways to help prevent this type of melt down next time.<br /><br />Hugs <br /><br />PAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-18017132643945930252013-01-22T13:22:44.891-08:002013-01-22T13:22:44.891-08:00Wild indeed Cathie! I feel like I was holding on ...Wild indeed Cathie! I feel like I was holding on for dear life flying out the back of the coaster car. Thanks for the well wishes.<br /><br />Hugs back at ya<br /><br />PAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-46069184752131137932013-01-22T13:18:52.254-08:002013-01-22T13:18:52.254-08:00Thanks Sunnygirl...no he did not see the car situa...Thanks Sunnygirl...no he did not see the car situation the same way I did and in his defense though my intentions were different, my actions were the same as they would've been in the past. There was no way he could know the difference. We have had several talks and are now on the same page.<br /><br />PAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-60107692105380421462013-01-22T13:16:54.423-08:002013-01-22T13:16:54.423-08:00Yes Grace this is a perfect example of how NOT to ...Yes Grace this is a perfect example of how NOT to do things. We both just kind of threw out everything we have learned and went rogue for a couple days. We have talked and are doing much better. <br /><br />Hugs to you<br /><br />PAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-1283066225334313632013-01-22T13:15:19.658-08:002013-01-22T13:15:19.658-08:00Thanks for the hugs Ami! There was such a breakdo...Thanks for the hugs Ami! There was such a breakdown the last few days...as for saying "f off"...that was not my finest moment and you were right...my hiney paid the price. But we are reset and back to "normal" (whatever that really means).<br /><br />Hugs back at ya and I'm glad your computer is cooperating :)<br /><br />PAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-63095561795747248312013-01-22T13:11:52.817-08:002013-01-22T13:11:52.817-08:00Oh Elisa...I do love that man! Our communication ...Oh Elisa...I do love that man! Our communication broke down and it seemed as if everything else followed suit, but we are doing better now.<br /><br />Hugs <br /><br />PAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-3127777964742849922013-01-22T03:09:24.077-08:002013-01-22T03:09:24.077-08:00This process of remembering to ask them before we ...This process of remembering to ask them before we start "helping" can be really confusing. I get mucked up with it all the time and I can't quite figure out why my guy is upset with me. I was just trying to help. <br /><br />It is almost two days later. Are you guys doing a bit better and were you finally able to talk it all out?Susiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00511114118020790717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-33568524260301841362013-01-21T15:31:15.795-08:002013-01-21T15:31:15.795-08:00Hang in there, we all know how wild the ride can b...Hang in there, we all know how wild the ride can be sometimes. I have found sometimes that before I react (my common behavior) to a problem that I must stop myself and ponder if this is something Vic would want to handle (not always easy) if the answer is maybe or yes then off to the HoH I go. Sending huggs and best wishesAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12593540781048637365noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-7109852301006102802013-01-21T14:30:11.204-08:002013-01-21T14:30:11.204-08:00Sorry, is all I can say. I would have done much t...Sorry, is all I can say. I would have done much the same thing about the car. I often to things like that because it makes it so much easier to have the info handy with the talk does come up. I don't see it as meddling but being helpful. Guess John didn't see it that way though. <br /><br />You two seem to be on a different timetable. Maybe that should be a topic of conversation first and foremost. Aimless Ramblinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00720714875762344391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-28998827891842071842013-01-21T13:10:44.133-08:002013-01-21T13:10:44.133-08:00Ugh. And this is a good example of the fact that ...Ugh. And this is a good example of the fact that communication is SO important. I hope you've been able to talk more and that things are better now. If not, don't give up hope, there are bound to be bumps in the road and this is just one of them. (((hugs)))Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-82666491541913961912013-01-21T11:49:40.349-08:002013-01-21T11:49:40.349-08:00Oh Roz! You're too kind :) We will work this...Oh Roz! You're too kind :) We will work this out, but I was a bit of a handful the last few days (Okay! A lot of a handful!)<br /><br />Thanks for the hugs...you have no idea how much they've meant <br /><br />PAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-71028116509631939872013-01-21T11:46:33.327-08:002013-01-21T11:46:33.327-08:00We have recently (since ttwd) started doing someth...We have recently (since ttwd) started doing something very similar to this. However, I really don't know what happened these last few days. There was a major breakdown in many of the things that we have learned...we both kind of reverted and what came of it was not good.<br /><br />We are in the process of restoring order here...it is a process that I may post about soon<br /><br />Hugs<br /><br />PAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-21947573624104079082013-01-21T11:28:45.818-08:002013-01-21T11:28:45.818-08:00Thanks SNP! And welcome! I've seen you aroun...Thanks SNP! And welcome! I've seen you around as well. Oh my two favorite words have become COMMUNICATION and ATTITUDE! NOT! lol! Communication is the key to this lifestyle...so I hear/think about it all the time, and attitude is what I get into trouble for the most! I have no idea what John is talking about...I never have an attitude :D That's my story and I'm sticking to it!<br /><br />Hugs back at ya!<br /><br />PAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-34637131123462907292013-01-21T11:24:49.111-08:002013-01-21T11:24:49.111-08:00Thanks for your concern Meg. And yes John did exp...Thanks for your concern Meg. And yes John did explain that he felt that I was reverting back to old habits and just moving forward without him. <br /><br />Thanks for the hug! I needed all of them I could get :)<br /><br />PAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-39380192264115837082013-01-21T08:39:29.221-08:002013-01-21T08:39:29.221-08:00Oh P, I'm sorry you are at odds at the moment....Oh P, I'm sorry you are at odds at the moment. There must be something in the air. Men get very funny about 'car' situations. Anything to do with them - bangs, insurance, speed, fuel consumption etc. I would have done just the same as you did, but would probably been told off too, so I'm no help there.<br /><br />As for the eating thing, I can't wait and wait to eat because I get sick and dizzy. Starman has gotten into the habit of always asking me when the meal will be ready. Mostly I get it right. I call anyone who is in the vicinity that it's ready, and if they choose not to come straight away I put ensure that their share doesn't get cold, and I sit and eat. Like John, Starman is slow in the shower, but he showers in the mornings. Would telling him when the meal is to be ready help at all?<br /><br />The other thing P, is that if I ever, ever, ever said F off to Starman he would go ballistic. I just wouldn't dare. It's a no go area. I did it just the once, when we were decorating our first home prior to getting married. Never again. It nearly finished us before we even started. So sorry honey, but you may have a sore bum to look forward to. LOL<br /><br />Many hugs,<br /><br />Ami<br /><br />I'm so proud my computer is now letting me make a comment!Ami Starsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745610022591654541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-7783728102976420482013-01-21T06:16:30.382-08:002013-01-21T06:16:30.382-08:00P,
Sometimes Will and I get like this. In our pre-...P,<br />Sometimes Will and I get like this. In our pre-ttwd lives we did this frequently. He'd do/not do something, I'd be hurt, I'd react by distancing, he'd react to my distancing, then he'd get furious, and I was already furious, and everything compounds because no one is really talking about the core issues. <br /><br />I think it's a normal part of learning the communication piece, and it is a journey. You two will figure this out. Your love for one another is so obvious. Hang in there, toots.<br /><br />Elisa xoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-60059034639028054282013-01-21T02:58:47.576-08:002013-01-21T02:58:47.576-08:00Awe, sorry things feel rough right now and that yo...Awe, sorry things feel rough right now and that you have so much going on. As Cat said above, communication really is the key. You haven't messed up and you will work this out. <br /><br />Wishing you all the best with your talk.<br /><br />(((Hugs)))<br />RozRozhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14326826956049047973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-5571064429854472362013-01-20T17:33:28.151-08:002013-01-20T17:33:28.151-08:00Dang P - Sorry to hear that things are rough right...Dang P - Sorry to hear that things are rough right now. Even though your talk did not go well, communication is the key. <br /><br />Are you two listening to but not hearing each other? Many times when we are speaking to someone, we have a tendency to be thinking of the next point we want to make or just hearing some of the words (passive listening) so that we don't actually end up understanding what the other person is trying to convey. We either hear what we want to hear or hear something totally different that what they are actually trying to say. Not saying either of you are doing this, just throwing it out here as a possibility.<br /><br />Have you tried active listening? What I mean by that is in a perfect world, you say "I feel xyz" and then John shows he understands what you are saying by repeating it back to you in his words "If I understand what you are saying, you feel xyz". In first starting this, you will probably get a lot of "OK, you feel abc" or "I understand you feel yzx". In the beginning, this technique can really slow down a conversation but once you both get in the habit, it can actually cause a conversation to go a lot quicker.<br /><br />Sending healing thoughts your way that you two work this out.<br /><br />Blessings,<br />Cat<br />Cathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14266606975978680188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-15025107297333441492013-01-20T15:24:46.949-08:002013-01-20T15:24:46.949-08:00I've not commented before. I've seen your...I've not commented before. I've seen your comments around blogland and so I thought I would stop by. I am sorry you have so much going on right now. I also just stopped by Lillie's and so maybe something is in the air concerning communication. I snapped at my husband two times yesterday. Ahh, it happens. Just wishing you well as you talk later today. Thankfully every day is a new day to try to do better and grow closer. Hugs.SNPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06002781182375655139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3878055891756756371.post-91853994414544023912013-01-20T13:00:47.507-08:002013-01-20T13:00:47.507-08:00I'm sorry your talk went so badly. Did John ex...I'm sorry your talk went so badly. Did John explain what was wrong about doing some initial research regarding the car? Sending you a hug and hope that today's talk goes better. Meghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03993692253695944431noreply@blogger.com