See ya later...

As I said in my last post, around 2 weeks ago, things here at the Smith house are incredibly busy.  Nothing has changed on that front.  We are doing very well and ttwd is allowing our lives to run much smoother.  However, there's just not much time for this blog.  I do try to keep up with everyone's posts, but don't always make it around and don't think I've commented much either.  So I'm taking a break.  I'm not sure if or when I'll return to this blog, but I wanted to let everyone know how much I have appreciated all of your support over the last several months.  You've listened to me ramble and whine and laugh and cry.  You've given advice and sometimes just let me know that I wasn't alone.  For that I will forever be grateful.  Hugs!  And I hope to "see" you around :)

Just Popping In

Hello everyone!  I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day.  I'm sorry I haven't been able to post much lately and unfortunately it will probably not get much better.  We are crazy busy this time of year here at the Smith house.  The weather has finally gotten better and we are running the kids for sports most nights of the week.  Hopefully I'll be able to write soon.  Have a great week!

To Submit or Not

A conversation with a friend has led me to think on this subject. I mean to point no fingers at anyone, but more as a self examination. If it causes you to think about your own relationship, then I am glad to not be alone.

Submission is described by wikipedia as the acknowledgement of the legitimacy of the power of one's superior or superiors. That led me to look up the definition of superiors, which is defined as an individual or position at a higher level in the hierarchy than another (a "subordinate" or "inferior"), and thus closer to the apex. It is often used in business terminology to refer to people who are supervisors and in the military to people who are higher in the chain of command (Superior Officer). Superiors are given, sometimes supreme, authority over others in the control. When an order is given, one must follow that order and obey it or punishment may be issued.

The thing that stood out to me was the word given. The authority that a superior has is given to him/her, it can not be taken. I know that this isn't English class, but I have one more definition. One of the definitions of given is to be bestowed as a gift or presented. 

If you give a gift to someone, can you take it back? If you are given a gift and then later have it held over your head, was it really a gift? I have in the past been given a gift to later realize that it was payment for a deed to be expected later. It left me feeling like I would have rather went back in time and not accepted it. Is that how Daddy feels sometimes? Do I hold my submission as something to be earned and not something I freely give to him? I hope that is not how he feels, but I fear that there are times that is it exactly. 

Submission is not something that I can give and then take away and then give again based on the way I am feeling at that moment. How can he lead that way when he doesn't know from one day to the next if I will be behind him? I must decide the life I want to lead. To submit or not. And if I choose to submit then it must be a gift given once and for all. 

As HOH, the gift of submission that is given to me grants me the ability to control and to give "orders". The ability to give "orders" or tasks, chores, or assignments has become a daily event lately. Each task, chore or assignment is given with the intention to focus Baby Girl's attention on her gift of submission that she gave to me. Sometimes they push her further than she originally wanted to go, and sometimes they are regular things that I ask of her. The act of giving these also is a gift that I give to show my love and devotion to my Baby Girl and TTWD. As with any gift, much thought is put into these before they are given. The gift of being Baby Girl's HOH has given our marriage a new happiness.

Sheet 1 - Daddy 0

So the last few posts I have written have been a bit more serious than I like being on a regular basis.  So I thought I'd give you a glimpse into the lighter side of our life.

Last night, Daddy and I were laying in bed and he was fighting with the sheet.  It had somehow gotten all bunched up and his feet were hanging out.

 

We lay there a few minutes...

and 

I rolled over and in my sweetest voice

"Daddy...are you fighting with the sheets?"

"Yes!"



"Daddy...I think you're losing!"

I giggled for a long time after that...everytime he would kick the sheets.